What I Think "Hangover 2" Is All About

I liked the first one, so here's my take on what the second one is about.

• The guy from The Office has crazy things happen to him.  He will scream a lot and say things like "I can't believe this".
• The fat guy with the beard that wears "ironic t-shirts" will remain calm.  The guy from The Office will call him things like "You are the rotten, burned flesh of Satan" and he will respond with something like, "I can't believe you said that, I thought we were friends".
• I saw a monkey in the trailer, so like the baby from the first one, the fat guy will befriend it and give it a name like "Cloverfield" or "Chris".
• The good looking guy will be a mess, but his hair will remain perfect and he will be "the thinker".  He'll say things like, "C'mon guys we can't let this turn us against each other...if we just think we can get out of it..." right then they will A) Get hit by a guy driving a moped with a dozen chickens on it B) Run over a nun C) A camel will block their path and be angered by their presence and destroy their car  D) They will arrive at the next plot scene.
• Whatever the Macguffin is of this version, they will always be this close to finding it until some whacky, crazy random thing diverts them from getting to it/finding it/releasing it/springing it/him from jail/getting their passports back/no longer being considered president of the country they're in.
• The movie will end with the fat guy making a funny comment while they drive/walk/fly back to the plot scene from whence the movie began.

Random Actress Of The Day With Whom I'm Obsessed

Noémie Lenoir is hot. I'm watching Rush Hour 3.

Don't ask why, I know Ratner ruined the X-Men movies but it's good Sunday afternoon fluff, while I wait for the Bruins to destroy Vancouver.

The girl seen above is Noémie Lenoir.

She is hot as hell.

Both her parents are French, so she knows how to back it up.  See what I did there?

Like most gorgeous women in Europe, they get tossed from soccer "player" to soccer "player" until they tire out and die somewhere alone, or turn into some weird , bizarro version of a woman with nothing of substance in them other than silicone:

So, here's some Noémie Lenoir before I become obsessed with someone else:

 

 

Hold the presses, apparently in "researching" her her little kickballer boyfriend treated her like garbage, because European men treat women like garbage.  Haven't you ever seen Taken? Anyway, apparently she tried to commit suicide (I mean, just look at her "boyfriend"...wtf do you expect?)

So we have this beautiful woman above in transition to either a Victoria Beckham like creature, or another statistic.  Let's hope, just for her sake she just goes completely sideways and turns into Beckham.

Appears she already is:

 

Well, in the time it took to make this post I've already moved on and am no longer obsessed with her.  Oh well.  I'm sure I'll find someone else in the next 20 minutes.

In fact, I think it's one of my Twitter friends.

If You Haven't Seen The Miss America Pics

Then head on over to the one and only mean ol' meany. Get your daily dose of Rima Fakih.

Live Blogging The Walking Dead: No Way Out Part Three - Issue 83 - Holy Shit Moment Of The Year

Starting up right where issue 82 left off, Rick and Jessie are discussing leaving. (Right about here, two things are setting in:

1. Man they had it so good here
2. Kirkman hasn't done it in a while, someone is going to die, someone important

Rick insists he isn't abandoning everyone, he wants to get himself and Carl clear, and he's willing to help her as well.  But you know, I know and Rick's eyes tell you that he isn't coming back for anyone.

Cut to Michonne watching over Morgan, she breaks down and apologizes for her outburst earlier.  She really lets it out for the first time in, what...50 issues?  She talks about how she hides everything, because if she were to show her true self she'd be exposed...and she hurt a "broken man" who was truly strong, not weak as she had implied the night before.  She asks for his forgiveness and there's nothing but silence.  Michonne's eyes are filled with tears.

That's epic.  Morgan and his son were the first humans Rick met after coming out of the hospital.  Morgan nursed Rick back to health.  Morgan is probably one of the most senior characters in this book.  But, Morgan just died...on page 2.  Kirkman ain't done.  Not on page 2.  That's crazy.

Downstairs...Maggie says she isn't coming.  She's going to stay with Sophia.  She doesn't feel comfortable risking Sophia's life out amongst the dead...she is too slow, she claims.  Rick agrees about her speed but says he had taken that into account anyway.  All of a sudden, Rick opens the door and pulls a roamer inside to everyone's shock.  He raises an axe in tells everyone to get the kids out of the room.

Rosita and Abraham are locked in the church, Abraham assuring her every-thing's just gonna be perky turkey.  Gabriel is deep in prayer, probably thinking about what he did to his own congregation.  Eugene says he's hungry.

Lot's of stuff bringing us back to the younger days of The Walking Dead in this arc.  Holly's sleeping comfortably (not) on top of a snow covered roof with just a stick in her hand.

Cut to Douglas holding a gun to his temple, stuttering the word "Can't".  A Democrat with a gun...that's going to lead to something horrible if he doesn't just pull the trigger right now. Andrea, Glenn, Spencer and Heath are still planning their rescue, they're going to split up and meet a few blocks ahead to lure away the dead, then come back to get others off the roof.

Cut to Michonne saying she's sorry to Morgan with her eyes clenched tightly.

(Have I mentioned this book is moving faster than Mario Andretti on crack?)

Rick is hacking bits and pieces off the roamer he pulled in.  Telling people to tear sheets to fashion them into ponchos.  Michonne comes downstairs and tells everyone Morgan's dead.  Rick actually pauses for a moment and Michonne asks what she can do to help.

Dr. Colby refuses to cover herself with zombie bits and claims to be going back to her lab.  Michonne says she'll help her get there, Maggie says she's definitely not going now.  Rick tells her he's not going to waste time changing her mind...he turns to Jessie who looks at Rick as if he's the savior and says she'll follow him anywhere.

Sophia hugs Carl and says, "Bye".  Carl's response" "Yeah. Bye."

Outside they go, covered in zombie guts.  Jessie looks over to her son, Ron, telling him to move it...he's frozen in spot with urine streaming down his pant legs.

Cut to Douglas opening his door saying to himself, "Come on Douglas, you know this is the only way".  As he faces lines of roamers in front of his place.  Michonne, Rick, Jessie and the kids are trying to get through as Michonne is slicing and dicing.  Ron is absolutely petrified, slowing everyone down.  Jessie is yelling at him to move,  Rick is yelling at them to stop yelling and drawing attention.  It's chaos.

I turn the page and see about 4 zombies attacking the boy, Ron.  One is biting his neck and Jessie screams in horror.  Adlard is amazing in this arc.  From what appeared to be the inside of cozy, warm suburban homes, to a close up of Ron's face being torn apart.

I take a breath.

Rick yells that Jessie has to leave him, she insists she can't.

Douglas, standing in the middle of the zombies puts the gun to his head again and we see Jessie inevitably getting ripped apart.  Rick walks away with a tear in his eye.  However, Jessie has grabbed Carl in desperation to perhaps keep Rick from leaving her.  Carl screams and Rick is pissed.

He runs over and pulls Carl away, apologizing to Jessie as she's being eaten alive.  She refuses to let go of Carl's hand so rick cuts her hand off.

Epically.  Fucking.  Brutal.

Is that it?  Something tells me it's not over.  Douglas has flip-flopped (heh-heh, Democrats) and is now shooting at the zombies, telling everyone to get into their houses where it's safe...idiot.  Rick tells Douglas to stop shooting, as has been proven time and time again gunfire draws them.

Maggie and Sophia are inside.  Maggie tells her to ignore the screams.  Dr. Colby enters the house, she's had enough of all that silly shit outside.

Back outside is Michonne slicing away, Douglas firing away, Rick screaming to stop...it's total chaos.  Douglas gets attacked and drawn to the ground where he starts wildly firing his gun.  As the last shot rings out Rick asks if everyone is OK.

Now.

This.

We're shown Carl, shot through the right eye with that side of his face missing.  A huge word bubble with the tiny word "Dad?" within.

That was "Holy Shit".

Rick's face is as horror stricken as it's ever been as carl falls face first at Rick's feet. Rick picks Carl up and says,  "Thank God".  Carl must be breathing.  He hacks and slashes away, begging Carl to keep breathing as zombies rip the poncho off Rick's back.  He's totally exposes, telling Carl to breath he runs away as Michonne is seen asking Rick what happened.

Rick races back to his house, Dr. Colby opens the door and Rick is holding Carl and begs of her to save his life.

Holy Shit Moment Of The Year.  Flashpoint?  Please, step off.

Live Blogging The Walking Dead: No Way Out Part Three - Issue 82

"I know you did".

This issue of The Walking Dead spares no time getting into it.  It's what we've come to know and love about this book.  No holds barred.

Morgan is bitten, after Tobin's gruesome death and is struggling to get out of the Dead's grasp.  Rick helps him move away a slight while Michonne arrives on the scene.  Seeing Michonne, he kind of snaps out of it and starts to move it a bit.  I've always had the sense Morgan has this self-fulfilling prophesy that they were going to get him anyway, he was just petrified of it.

Ok, so - his arm has a large gash and Rick tells Michonne that they've got to take Morgan's arm off.  Michonne, being the bad-ass, "act first" survivor that she is slices her lover's arm clean off in one swift move motion,. interrupting Morgan asking her what they're talking about.

She knows what needs to be done.  There are very few people in this book that "know what to do".  And we've known she's one of them since her incredible introduction.

Michonne isn't done slicing, I'm sure she's got a bit of anger to get out, as well as, you know, the whole surviving thing.  But I'm sure a few of these particular heads were sliced off with a bit more pleasure than usual.  But she doesn't show it one iota.  Rick tries to bring Morgan to safety, but is cornered.  Johnny-on-the-spot Abraham puts a pipe into the back of a Dead's skull and tells Rick to move out.  Rick moves out.

We're then brought back to Glenn, April, Heath and Spencer atop the roof watching this all transpire.  In a great panel, allowing us to catch our breaths for a moment, the four of them have jaws agape, eyes wide and amazed at the action going on and how fast it's all gone down the toilet.

Glenn, the quick moving survivor that's saved lives a plenty with his wit and quickness starts to confess that he isn't going to make it out of this one.  He's going to die.  And he knows it.

Back at the Battle Of the Blargh, Abraham is unleashing F-bombs and headshots galore, worried that he's getting overwhelmed before Rosita shows up and gives him a bit of reprieve - like I said...a bit.

Cut to Rick and Morgan at Rick's place with Morgan being treated.  Not knowing if the arm was taken off in time, all that's left is the waiting.  Carl asks Rick if Morgan's OK and Rick replies that he doesn't know yet.  Michonne, anguished, is sitting over Morgan's sleeping body and calls him a damn fool - out of the obvious love she has for him.

Denise asks Rick to walk her back to her place, he agrees.  Suddenly Maggie is banging on the door telling everyone to get down and stay down.  They look outside and the streets are littered with Deads.  This is as bad as it's every been, Glenn was right.  We're starting to wonder who it is that's going to pay the price for this.

Cut back to Morgan, this time it's Carl over him.  With a pistol aimed at his face.  Morgan tells him he doesn't need it, that he's fine. Carl maturely holsters the gun. He asks if Rick sent Carl up there to "watch" him.  Carl tells him yes, that he's old enough.  Have I mentioned I love this kid?

Morgan asks how old Carl is, we know Morgan's thinking of someone else here.  Carl says he thinks he's 8...that they might have lost one of his birthdays.  Morgan says he's sorry to hear that...and that he saw Carl shoot Ben.  I expected Carl to run out...but Carl says, "I know you did".  This kid is awesome.  I repeat, "I know you did".  How amazing is this kid going to turn out?

Over at the Douglas household, he's crying at Regina about how sorry he is, that he's a horrible person.  He wishes she were here with him.  And that makes him feel guilty, to wish she were in this madness.  He feels selfish and shallow.  (Well, he is a Democrat, so it's kind of a prerequisite).

Over at the church, people are barging their way in and Gabriel, in tears, let's them in.  Remeber what Gabriel did to his own congregation?  Quite a turn around, yes?

The next page is the next morning.  Rick and Jessie are asleep and Rich asks where Carl is.  She assures him that she put the children to bed.  Rick says he likes having her here.  No guilt there, eh Douglas?  She sticks her tongue down his throat.

Michonne and Carl and with Morgan.  Morgan asks Michonne for a minute alone with Carl.  Morgan says he reminds him of his own son, Duane and how remarkable they both were.  Morgan tells Carl that he did what did for a reason and it was the right thing.  Morgan goes on for a few pages, coughing, feverish and talking about what an amazing boy Carl is.  He tells Carl how sad he is that he'll never learn about the world...not the junk in school books, but how to become a man...and he worries how Carl is going to do when Morgan dies, when he's left with no one to talk to.  He then says, "You're going to have to be strong, Duane".

Carl says, with his hand on his revolver, "I'm not Duane.  He's dead."  Morgan's anguished face tells you everything...

Back on the roof, the pack of 4 are figuring a way to get back to the group.  Spencer tries to float the idea of ditching everyone and taking off - just he and April.  Awesome April punches him in his dumb little face and says "That's about the end of you and me".

Back in the hood, the roamers are still all over the place and people are starting to seriously wondering what they're going to do.  Jessie wants Rick to lead everyone out, past the fence, past all the roamers and to safety.  Rick argues, correctly, that they would pick people off one by one.  That it would turn to chaos and there'd be no way to help people once they got into trouble.  Rick says a small group would be OK, but not everyone...hinting that he's willing to take her and her daughter.  Jessie terrified says they can't leave people here...there's children.  Rick's statement hits home like April's punch to Spencer's face:

"They're not our children".

End of issue 82.  Someone's gonna get it bad.  You know this is coming.

I Am Ashamed

I have never been ashamed of my country.

Today I am.  I am ashamed we allowed this monster into the White House.

Perhaps he wants those borders to go back to 1946 conditions?

This is a dangerous, dangerous man you people elected.

He is destroying not only this country, but the world and any progress that's been made.

I am ashamed you let this happen to us, liberals.

My Pull List for May 18, 2011

Yeah, yeah I know.  Spidey is everywhere.  But Gage's Academy characters are some of the most intriguing and I love reading anything related to Academy.


See above, minus the Spidey comment.


The first arc had me pissing my pants laughing.  Hydra Bob was put through hell and when Hammerhead smashed that dude's head in I laughed so hard I pissed my shirt (I don't know what that means, either).  But the latest arc is getting a bit odd.  Just go back to being funny, or serious.  Not both.  I'd rather the funny.


Uh, Image? Check.  Number 1? Check.  Pulled.


This is consistently, along with Academy, Chew, Walking Dead (I'll continue that live blogging of No Way Out...I just had to finish reading it because it was to fucking awesome to stop) Skullkickers, PunisherMAX, Haunt and Jonah Hex, one of the best series' on the racks.  I love everything about this title.



I'm just buying these to read about the Ultimate Spidey dying.


See above.


Gonna keep going with this title.  Fantomex is a really intriguing character and the last story arc really pulled itself by its bootstraps at the end there.

Live Blogging The Walking Dead: No Way Out Part Two - Issue 81

Regrets.

This issue seems to deal with regret right from the start. Jessie regrets coming on to Rick sexually. Rick assures it's ok, that he doesn't regret anything. He then proceeds to get dressed and go make a phone call, err, start his patrol. Glenn is wracked with guilt about leaving andrea in the shower alone with little to no supplies. maggie tells him not to worry, get back in bed with her and worry about some other lady tomorrow. Heh. Morgan tries to convince himself and Michonne that he doesn't regret sleeping with her. Michonne gives Morgan a verbal smackdown and tell him to basically either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

Outside, Abraham has found a weak spot in the wall and notifies Rick. Rick's temporary solution is to back a pickup truck onto the weak post. Glenn has an idea on how to get some of the romers away from the walls: he wants to get a group of people together drive out to the tower Andrea's in, hopefully pulling some roamers away from the wall. Rick think this would work in an emergency but still knows that it would leave them abandoned. During their conversation, Rick tells Glenn about his trist with Jessie, Pete's widow. Glenn is shocked to hear he would leave Carl alone with her...seeing as how, you know, Rick killed her husband and all.

Along comes Spencer with some climbing gear and rope. Using this rope is a safer idea then going out on foot or in a vehicle amongst the roamers, or so they think. They begin to pack gear and head out to get going. Heath, Spencer and Glenn manage to grapple the rope to an adjacent building, they hug and kiss their loved ones, wish each other luck and head out to help Andrea.

Now, I don't know about you, but at this point in time I'm not very confident in Andrea's well being. We've heard no shots (she is smart enough not to shoot and draw attention, but she's been awful quiet) and she's said many times she would prefer to be put down quickly than to become a roamer. Who knows what they've done to the tower? Who knows if they've managed to get to her, or if she's dropped her gun, or been injured and bled out. I just think Andrea would have done something to let the group know she's ok.

Anyway, Glenn and Heath make it across with a few close calls and Spencer is next. Spencer's making his way across the rope and what happens? SNAP!! The rope breaks and down goes Spencer. With a hard "Wramm!" Spencer crashes face first into the adjacent building's wall. Glenn and Heath struggle to pull him up as the zombies get closer and closer to a fresh meal. Screaming for help Spencer's trapped as the two of them can't pull him up.

Right as a zombie has a hold on Spencer's foot and opens it's mouth to take a big chunk of his ankle, the rope suddenly gets a tug and Spencer is pulled up to safety onto the rooftop. Flabbergasted, Glenn and Heath turn around to see Andrea herself saving those that set out to save her.

That's why I love Andrea.

Cut to Holly and Tobin guarding the wall. A weak spot next to the original weak spot has started to form - and down it comes, spilling roamers into the community. (What did Douglas know?)

Cut immediately to a smiling Rick telling Jessie that she can stay there untill things "blow over". Heh.

Holly barges into the house announcing the entire wall has come down. Guess things aren't "blowing over" just yet eh Rick? Rick tells Holly to get everyone to the wall with silent weapons only. Rick arrives at the scene to see Tobin's intestines being used as appetizers. Michonne's missing so it's Rick and Morgan at the wall.

Waiting for reinforcements to arrive, a no good sneaky ass zombie bites Morgans arm from behind. In denial rick tells Morgan to get up, to not give up and to move.

We're left with a close up of Rick's panic strikes eyes as we see about three sets of hands closing in on him.

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Live Blogging The Walking Dead: No Way Out - Issue 80

Issue #80 of the Walking Dead is part 1 of the No Way Out arc. The Twitterverse is abuzz with this being the "Holy Fucking Shit" arc.

I hold on to issues of the walking dead and read them 5 or 6 issues at a time so that I can truly appreciate the flow of each story.

In issue 80 we see Rick in the group preparing to protect themselves from a very very large herd that is gathered around the gates of the community.

The issue starts with Abraham and some others fighting off a group while they attempt to close the main gate. During this struggle Bruce is bitten. Acting quickly and with the resolve Abraham puts bruce out of his misery with a swift home run swing to the front of Bruce's skull.

Douglas has appointed wrecked the leader of the community in his stead, and we're seeing quite a transformation in Douglas's demeanor. What this comes to remains to be seen.

Rick speaks to the community, makes plans for people to start sharing houses again and to do a perimeter search to flesh out any weak spots.

Michonne is put in charge of the night watch and quickly asks Morgan to join her, he is very happy to oblige.

Then there's a moment between Rick and Carl. Rick gives Carl his gun back with a strict warning only pull it out if he intends upon using it. Carl tells Rick he is scared and asks if he appears as such. Rick tells him not at all, and Carl says he's going to be a great leader someday, just like his father. A tender moment and a turning point in Carl's attitude towards his father.  Damn I love this kid.

By the way...Andrea the bad-ass sniper is stuck in a tower outside the relative safety of the community gates.

We then see Douglas on knees in his living room, broken down and sobbing - begging his late wife for forgiveness. Douglas's son enters the the room and sees his father in this condition. What happens next we don't know as the scene cuts to Rick and Carl's house where Jessie and her son Ron seem to have invited themselves over.

Ron confronts Carl in his bed asking him why Rick killed his abusive father Pete, and what makes Carl's father so special. Carl tell him it's just the way it is and goes back to sleep...Ron walks away in tears.Carl owns you and your zombie dad.

There's a quick montage of all the characters preparing, and were left with Jessie asking Rick if she can sleep in bed with him. Rick attempts to reject but Jessie has already climbed in bed and stuck her tongue down this throat!

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Lady Mechanika Part II

More Lady Mechanika chicas for your enjoyment.

I See What You Did There.

Raise Your Arms If You're Hot.

Marry Me?

Humena, Humena, Humena.

Weld Me.

I Think You're Looking At Me.

You Dropped Something, And You Will Need To Get It Yourself.

I know, I'm weird.  But if you don't think these chics are hot (and I think cosplay people are WEIRD) there's something wrong with the stuff in between your ears.

Two Perky Reasons I Love Comics

There's a great new title out called Lady Mechanika, published by Aspen Comics. In only two issues I'm hooked. The story's great, the art's great...and Lady Mechanika is one of the hottest comic book girls I've seen in a while.

Yes, I know I'm pathetically geek.

I stumbled across this girl dressing up like Lady Mechanika and being generally hot as hell.

The last time I dressed up as a fictional character was when I wore my Superman underoos last week...I mean when I was 5.

But I'm thankful this girl did this. I thank her from the bottom of my heart...yeah, yeah my heart. More deliciousness.

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My Free Comic Book Day Haul

My Local Comic Shop

If you didn't know, today is Free Comic Book Day.  All the publishers release a book, for free, that showcases upcoming titles, continues a story or introduces a new title.  Some FCBD books have gone on to become very valuable.

The most important thing about FCBD is not to get free stuff, it's to get new readership.  So grab your non-comic-reader friend and head down to your closest shop and have a ball.  Most shops will have artists ranging from pencillers, letterers to writers signing and doing sketches...it's a great time.

My haul for the day was:

• 12 Gauge - Ice
• 12 Gauge - Loose Ends
• Dark Horse Comics - Avatar
• Dark Horse Comics - Baltimore
• Dark Horse Comics - Criminal Macabre
• Dark Horse Comics - Star Wars "The Clone Wars"
• Dc - Green Lantern Special Edition
• Drawn & Quarterly - John Stanley's Summer Fun
• History Graphics Press - Civil War Adventures
• Idw - Locke & Key
• Liquid Comics - Silver Scorpion
• Marvel - Amazing Spider-Man
• Oni Press - Spontaneous
• Radical - Jake The Dreaming
• Red5 - Atomic Robo
• Th3rd World Studios - City Of Bones
• Th3rd World Studios - The Intrepid Escapegoat
• Th3rd World Studios - The Stuff Of Legend
• Top Cow - Artifacts
• Top Cow - The Darkness "Confession"
• Yen Press - Witch And Wizard

I also picked up a few posters, a custom Punisher sketch from Andy and Vernonica Fish (who's pretty damn cute by the way!), a Green Lantern heroclix and some Daredevil back issues I've been huntinig down. 50 cent bins are great!

While you're at it, head over to ComicBooksBoard for some great comic talk.

My Pull List for May 04, 2011

The only Avengers book really worth reading at this point.  Christos Gage is one of the best writers in the Marvel Bullpen right now  Read everything he's doing, it's all superb and above par.
 

I'm as sick of Thor as can be, but I guess we're stuck with him while Marvel and Hollowweird make love again.


One of my favorite titles month after month.


Zombies, nuff said.


Let's try this again.  Am I more sick of Bendis or Thor?  Bendis.  But Moon Knight deserves a good title that continues.


I've put off the last two issues of this title...It started off great but it seems to be getting a bit boring.  Gonna try for another arc and see if anything happens, else this is getting dropped.


The Walking Dead Survivors Guide!  Good stuff!

Illegal, Racist War For Oil

Suddenly, terrorism exists and Osama bin Laden isn't some kind of boogeyman.

Suddenly, the "illegal, racist war for oil" in Afghanistan was right and just.

Suddenly, GITMO ain't such a bad place at all.

Suddenly, yelling, screaming or otherwise hurting the precious feelings of the GITMO inmates for intel isn't such a bad thing.

Suddenly, Osama bin Laden is dead.