Pretty Funny Spam I Got

Every now and then I look through Google's spam folder to see what hilarity resides inside.

Along with the normal penis enlargement, random Spanish emails, super fantastic deals from stores I've never heard of and quite a few regular old "Someone has been trying to reach you" alongside a picture of some really hot chic and the billions of "There has been a reply to a topic you started for all the board administrators out there that keep that option on by default when all I did was log in to ask a single question two years ago...

This morning I found this one:

Received: from User ([74.63.227.228])
(authenticated user spam@onlineplus.am)
by mail.onlineplus.am (Kerio MailServer 6.5.2);
Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:55:13 +0400
Reply-To:
From: "US-ARMY (John Craig)"
Subject: Us military...could you be trusted.
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:54:58 -0800
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="Windows-1251"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000

Hello,

I am Capt John Craig, an officer of the U.S Army. Based on the United States legislative and executive decision to pull our troop out of here I have decided to contact you for this business opportunity and relationship.

I want to inform you that I have in my possession 2 valuable boxes which I want to ship to you. Can you be trusted? If you can please contact me urgently on my private email by clicking the reply button with a code (2345). If you can't please delete this mail.

Thank You

coljohncraig104@rocketmail.com
coljohncraig103@rocketmail.com

That's funny, a COLONEL wants to send me two valuable boxes!  What do you think are in them?  Iraqi feces? IEDs?

Whenever I find a particularly offensive one, or one that is obviously trying to prey upon the elderly, I simply forward it off to the FBI at spam@uce.gov, per their instructions.  Very easy.